Wouldn’t it be Funny if My Boyfriend Walked in on Us?
A filthy little treat for my paid subscribers... And a horrible tease for the rest of you.
I never knew if Anya was joking.
Her sense of humor was so dry it vacillated between boring and absurd. On a good day, I’d follow along, and she’d pat me on the small of my back (about as high as she could reach) and laugh with me.
But the more we hung out, the more her jokes flirted around sex. Especially when her boyfriend was in the room.
“He thinks I’m a huge slut just because I slept with two of his friends. Crazy, right?”
I left that one alone.
“Do you think you’re strong enough to carry me with my legs around your waist if we were fucking? You’d be my little pony.”
“Maybe I could wear you like a feedbag,” I said to that one, and she slapped me hard and laughed before pouring herself another glass of wine. Timmothy, the boyfriend, laughed as well, which only confused me more.
But then, on a Sunday afternoon in their living room, I decided that if she were bluffing, I would call it. They had a few friends over, no more than a dozen, and we were drinking mimosas and Negronis and pretending nobody had to work the next day.
Anya stepped close to me and raised her glass in a toast with her familiar conspiratorial wink.
“What do you think Timmothy would do if he walked into the bathroom to find you bending me over the sink?”
“Maybe he’s into that,” I said with a shrug. And then, because I wasn’t going to back down, I stepped it up. “Plenty of guys like watching me fuck their girlfriends.”
“That’s super hot,” she said in what I assumed was her honest voice. “Maybe we should test it out.”
“I wouldn’t want to hurt you,” I growled under my breath. The truth was, I wanted to do terrible things to her, and the fact that I was twice her size only made my fantasies worse.
“Well, where’s the fun in that, handsome?”
I shrugged again and held my arm out towards the bathroom door. She winked at me and then sauntered on in, sparing a glance towards Timmothy as she stepped into the dimly lit room.
The single candle on top of the commode smelled of honeysuckle.
I shut the door and stepped so close to her I could taste her hair. When I spun her around so her back was to me, she gasped but didn’t laugh it all off as a joke. Instead, she leaned forward and placed both hands on the porcelain sink.
“Just like this, right? How hilarious would that be?”