The shower outdoors is getting a lot of attention. Nobody is talking about it, but everyone is taking advantage of it.
I thought I was alone. It was early, and the dew still glistened on the grass. I didn’t hear her come in until she stood beside me under the falling water. She was silent as she smiled in the cool morning sun. When I brushed her shoulder, she laughed and tilted her head back in a long slow stretch.
I kissed the water from her chin. She pressed her palms against my chest. Our lips touched without words.
As I slid to my knees on the wooden planks, she rested against the wall with one leg over my shoulder. Her gentle moans woke the birds and the wind as I drowned in peace and adoration. She tasted of summer and maybe a touch of regret.
When she raised my chin and lifted me for a kiss, I felt the doubt that had been hiding behind the lust. But in her arms, it slipped away again as she grew stronger and rougher. When she turned, peeking over her shoulder as she bit her lip, I didn’t believe it. Even when she bent forward as I closed in on her, it wasn’t real.
As she held me in her hand, guiding and encouraging me with her breath, I ached for eternity. Maybe if we could hold onto the moment, the wait, and the anticipation, it would last forever. And maybe, if we almost fucked, but didn’t, the desire would keep us close.
But dreams always end when I open my eyes, and my head was too clouded with hormones and ancient loves to resist. She arched her back and welcomed me with a joyful laugh, and as the water blessed our union, I gripped her hips and let go.
I want to say she came and there were rainbows. I want it to have been transcendent and life-altering. Maybe she loved me for a moment, and perhaps she said so beneath the warm water in the outdoor shower when nobody saw us.
And maybe, later, when she squeezed my hand in passing with a knowing smile and a wink, it meant more than don’t tell. It meant more than what a beautiful secret we shared, and it meant more than I’m so glad we finally got that out of the way.
Later that night, I heard her laughing through my open window. His voice was deep and round as they showered after a long day outdoors. I prayed they wouldn’t fuck. Just this once. Just for today.
In my dream, she was a waterfall.