Daydreaming of Threesomes
A bit of fantasy and a lot of memory about threesomes with Piper and other women
Daydreaming is often an excellent way to start writing, especially when I can do it without much of a filter. My brain is wired from years of habit to check myself far too often. Don't dream quite that big. Don't imagine too much or you'll be disappointed. It's gone so far that I occasionally have dreams where I'm about to sleep with someone heart-achingly beautiful, but that pesky condom is nowhere to be found, and I wake up screaming, "It was a fucking dream!"
I can change habits, though. It's' not easy, but I told myself this morning that if fear and shame were good motivators, I'd be rich and in shape. The truth is that not only don't they work, but they often push me in the direction of worse habits out of pure spite.
So I'm trying another angle instead.
I'm letting myself wander, both mind and body, without too much judgment or concern. I don't need to analyze everything or find a reason for every thought that flickers through my mind. They're waves breaking on the shore, not messages in a bottle.
I was tired and a bit hungover on the train home yesterday, so I distracted myself by imagining Piper and me seducing someone pretty. The person changed as I sat with my eyes closed; I jumped from one inappropriate girl to another, but I felt a jolt of interest and excitement as I let myself go. While I didn't embarrass myself on the train with an uncomfortable erection (or worse, attempting to relieve it), I did feel more awake and more life-like.
While sex can occasionally feel serious, especially when the hormones are in full throttle, I find that threesomes almost always hold some level of lightness and laughter. Maybe it's the awkwardness of acrobatic logistics or realizing that we have human bodies that do human things. But sometimes, it's just pure joy and excitement as we roll and kiss and play and tumble, moving from moments of intense bliss to moments of calm or giddy laughter.
Late at night, it's more of a blur.
Memory mixes in with the daydreams, and I can feel four hands on me and two pairs of lips. I can feel her mouth around me, distracted by the girl going down on her, and my happiness comes from her submersion. If I close my eyes, I remember Piper pinning a girl's arm above her head, holding her down as she whispers in her ear. I tease her with the head of my cock, until I hear begging.
There's no single story tonight.
I have no patience for one thing. It's Piper watching and crying as I fuck someone else on the couch, and it's me sitting back as they kiss and touch and fall in love. The feeling of her taking me into her mouth while I kiss her best friend for the very first time is visceral and impossible to describe.
And the emotions that arise when I look into Piper's eyes as she gets fucked from behind turn me upside down.
A threesome always holds some uncertainty, and maybe that's part of the appeal. It can be challenging enough to communicate clearly with one partner, let alone two, and so we touch and bite and learn as we go. I find myself both excited and dizzy as I watch, and the anticipation is excruciating.
"I want to watch you fuck her," strikes me with as much disbelief as relief, and when I stare into her eyes as I bury myself within our dear friend, I wonder how lust can hold so much pain without losing its grasp.
But in the morning, there's coffee and bagels and often a dog in the middle of the bed, making a reprise unlikely. If we reminisce, it's brief sighs and snarky comments that hint at shared turn-ons that are only slightly embarrassing in the sunlight. We kiss and laugh and try not to hold on too tightly.
The fantasies may be more straightforward and less complicated, but they also lack the spontaneity and unexpected moments that inevitably come when three people climb into bed together.
But now it's late, and I'm half awake and half in love. It's been a long time since we mingled six sweaty limbs together, but who knows what the rest of the summer may bring?
In the meantime, I'll linger between memory and dream and see where it takes me.
I hope you sleep tight.
My next paid newsletter is going out Wednesday at midnight. It’s about a very intense consensual non-consent scene late one night at my college library. It walks a fine line between role-play and something darker.
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